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What makes a good friend? A true friend is someone you have mutual respect, affection, and like for each other. Good friends make life interesting, fun and are important to enjoy a good and fulfilling life.
As we grow, our definition of friendship and what we look for in friendship changes. For my 4 year old daughter, she likes to have fun and play with her friends. For my teenage daughter, she has common interests with her friends ranging from classes, movie, music to drawing.
My oldest daughter is a sophomore at high school and on a recent long road trip, we had the chance to talk about what makes a good friend and the key qualities of friendship. Personally, I like to spend time examining the qualities of people before trusting them with friendship. Although I have a few best friends, the friends I have are wonderful and are the inspiration for this post.
How to be a good friend
Friendship is a two-way street. In order to enjoy true friendship, you should strive to be a good and true friend. A good friend is there for you through good times and not so good times. A true friend is there to share laughter, cry together, and to encourage you to be a better version of yourself without being judgemental.
To be a good friend, you must be able to forgive mistakes. People are not perfect and if you spend enough time together, you are bound to err or hurt each other. Like with most relationships, without forgiveness, friendship would not last long. True friends will make an attempt to make things right and make amends to maintain a healthy friendship.
Qualities of a good friend
We look for different qualities in people before we form friendships with them. Our basis of friendship maybe common interests or world view but no matter which it is, these five qualities are vital to a healthy relationship and friendship.
Respect
Mutual respect is important for friendship. True friends respect you, your boundaries, and accept you for who you are. True friends do not judge you or make you feel inadequate. They accept you for who you are and encourage you to be you. True friends are supportive of you and your business. Respect is vital to a healthy friendship.
Honesty
Honesty is critical for friendship. No-one wants to be around someone that is untrustworthy. True friends do not deceive but encourage to be your real self. Good friends are honest with their feelings, they do not envy and are great listeners. Life is better when we have people to share our feelings with. Having a honest friend that you can share deep conversations with is a great help.
Reliability
True friends come through for you. They have your back at all times. Good friends are dependable and you can count on them. They are not fair-weather friends but they are there when things are good and when bad. When life gets challenging or you struggle to believe in yourself, true friends are there to pull you through with positivity.
Unique
Every person is unique! A True friends should respect your uniqueness. Friends encourage you to embrace your individuality and do not try to make you like them or try to become you. You may have common interests, goals and aspirations but being unique makes your friendship interesting and not boring.
Fun
Having fun is good to reduce stress and improves our relationship with others. Friends are people we can have fun and create memories with. True friends play, laugh, and make us feel good about ourselves. We have fun with our friends whether it is a long talk about something funny, taking a trip together, or just spending time together. Having fun can improve the quality of your relationship and help you enjoy life by creating happiness.
How to spot a bad friend
Like with all relationships, friendship can become toxic over time due to a change in perspectives, growth, or worldviews. Having a good friend is wonderful but keeping a bad friend around can be toxic and is not worth the stress that comes with it. When friendship comes with a lot of drama and negativity, it has become toxic and it is time to say goodbye!
Qualities of a bad friend
Remember that friend that turned everyone against you in elementary or middle school? Yes! The betrayal by a supposed friend leaves a bad taste in the mouth that is hard to forget. Bad friendship is toxic and if you notice any of these three qualities in a friend, it is time to re-evaluate your friendship.
Envy
Bad friends are jealous and want what belongs to you. When friends become envious, the friendship become dangerous. Envious people feel bad about themselves and accomplishment and put other people down to make them feel small and inadequate. A good friend celebrate your accomplishment with you while a bad friend diminishes your accomplishment.
Dishonest
Untrue friends use your deep discussions against you. If you share secrets with them, they divulge it to others in a malicious manner. Bad friends bring a lot of drama to your life because of their dishonesty. They lie to you and backstab you. It is better to be without friends than to have dishonest friends without integrity.
Unreliable
False friends are unreliable. They always put themselves first. While it is good to practice self-care, being selfish is a big no to a good friendship. Bad friends only reach out to you when they need something from you. They take and take from you without reciprocating. An unhealthy friendship is competitive and aim to put you down rather than encourage you to succeed and be happy.
Friendship is important for our well being. Good friends help us grow and improve the quality of our lives. It is important to choose our friends wisely to avoid hurt and to enrich our lives’ positivity. A good friend wants the best for you, prays for you and with you.
The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray ~Proverbs 12: 26 (NKJV)
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother ~Proverbs 18: 24 (NIV)
A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends ~Proverbs 12:28 ( NIV)
After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before~Job 42:10 (NIV)
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~Bunmi
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